Have you ever lost a finger at a funeral?

It was a very sad day.  My uncle’s funeral.  He was a man that meant the world to many people.  He was a doctor, and a damn good one at that.  He was a strong christian who loved the guitar, the outdoors, and most of all his family.  He taught me so much in such a short amount of time.  His love for the outdoors, though it took something as tragic as his death for me to appreciate it, was embedded deeply in me.  I still to this day find peace in the most wild of places, and I have him to thank.   His life came to an end tragically and abruptly while doing something as mundane as checking the mail.  When he crossed the street headed toward the mailbox he was hit at an alarming speed many miles above the limit.  When it came time for the funeral they were unsure whether or not an open casket should even be considered.  On that day the parking lot of the church looked like that of a rock concert.  It was jam packed full, and everybody who’s life was touched by him wanted a seat in the arena.  I was too young to really comprehend exactly what death was, but I knew in life this guy was important.  I was remembering things that happened involving my uncle in life.  How much ketchup he put on his meatloaf.  How he loved the Eagles, how much I hated them, and our conversations surrounding the topic.  Most of all I remembered him dragging me up to the summit of Guadelupe Peak, the highest peak in Texas.  At nearly 9,000 feet it was a monster.  My hometown sat at about 200 feet above sea level, and I had never been on a hike.  It was a hot day…even for a Texas spring.  This was before the days of camelbacks so there was just one big canteen and my uncle, aunt, cousin, and I were all sharing it.  I kept begging for water, and he just kept mumbling “survival of the fittest” as a response.  I had no idea what that meant.  I was a kid!  Now I can appreciate such a strong Christian man referencing Darwin as quite an amusing moment.  The only part of that day I enjoyed at the time was drinking Tang at the summit, and marveling at the thousands of ladybug covering the plant life.  Still in the parking lot thinking I stepped out of the car. For some reason my little brother had opened the door for me.  We were never really cordial to each other, so this seemed very odd.  Once he came along everything I had to myself for all those years I had to share…why should I like him!?  Just as started to walk away I heard a slam and felt a wave of pain.  I let out a cry, but I still hadn’t looked yet.  I turned to look and that’s when I really lost it.  My finger was jammed directly in the locking mechanism in the car door.  I repeatedly cursed the Lord’s name right in his own parking lot.  My step dad was already half way across the parking lot, and as soon as he heard the blasphemous screams he ran back towards me.  He held the only key to unlock the door.  It seemed like ages, but finally I was free…and my hand was a bloody mess.  I ran towards the church restroom with my stepdad and brother running after me.  When I reached the restroom I turned the water on full blast to wash my hand off.  The blood just kept flowing, so I couldn’t really tell the full extent of the damage.  I grabbed  a bunch of paper towels, and covered my hand.  We went to see my mother inside to tell her what happened.  My mother, upon seeing the bloody paper towels told us to go straight to the emergency room.  Upon arriving at the emergency room my stepdad asked the receptionist to see a doctor.  The receptionist calmly told him to wait, and a doctor would be available shortly.  This angered me.  I walked right up to the receptionist, pulled the paper towel off of my hand, stuck it in her face, and said “I want to see a doctor now!”  Without hesitation she took me to see the doctor.  The doctor took my hand and stuffed it into a vat of brownish red liquid, and told me that it should help to clot the blood.  This process took quite a while the doctor noted, and once it finally started to work he uttered the phrase, “Uh-oh.  That’s no good.”  Always exactly what you want to hear from a doctor.  The bone was exposed almost completely and quite broken.  The skin was hanging ever so lightly by a thread.  The doctor then loaded me up with shots: some in my finger, some in my arm, and a couple right in the backside.   And boy…those really hurt.  The next part was hazy.  I just remember coming to and most of the fingers on my left hand we held together by gauze and a large metal splint.  All I could think was I’m going to be playing slide guitar for a while.  So I missed the funeral.  My finger ended up mending well.  I had two fingernails on top of one another for a few years, but they eventually became one.  I never really figured out whether or not my brother meant to slam the door on me or not, but I have come to terms with not knowing.  All I know is my uncle was a good man.  I may have not been able to witness his funeral first hand, but every time I smell fresh pine on the trail or hear a birds song coming from somewhere in the trees I have all the closure I need.

Have you ever helped rescue a friend from falling off a waterfall?

It was Summer Solstice just outside of Denali National Park in Alaska.  The longest day of the year in the land of the midnight sun.  Myself and my newfound gang of transient friends from everywhere and nowhere had been bonding over the amount of sun we were recieving.  It didn't matter what time of the day it was.  It was summertime, and we were in love.  We had been hearing through the grapevine about a place called Dragonfly Creek.  The creeks on Parks Highway were all marked aphabetically so we knew we could get there in not too much time.  So we packed up our bags with a little bit of camping gear and water and a whole lot of booze and stuck out our thumbs while walking toward Fairbanks.  In no time a small van stopped.  A man stepped out and asked us where we were headed. It seemed at once we all screamed Dragonfly Creek...and someone must've added "but we aren't quite sure where it's at."  The man luckily knew exactly where it was at and seemed to be very fond of the location.  So the ten or fifteen vagabond friends and myself all piled into the back of the small van bringing to mind a clown car to this day.  Before we knew it we were there.  The man even wanted to walk us down to a campsite he knew.  It was a  very steep but short trail that led us down into the trees.  There it was.  A perfect campsite.  The Nenana River was a short walk away  Such a powerful force. So silty it was almost mercury in color.  We headed back under the trees and set up camp.  The man bid us farwell and told us he might come back to visit if he was lucky.  At this point we all split up into small groups to explore the area.  Before I had explored at all I heard someone yell "WATERFAAALLL!"  Of course we all followed the voice.  And there it was.  Magnificent.  Fourty feet high or so.  Two tiers separated the falls.  One flow, a flat area, and then a twenty five foot drop or so.  My new roomate Adam was a worldclass climber and he seemed to see something different than the rest of us.  A great climbing route.  He and two others, Seth and Jeff, decided to climb.  The first part was easy.  More of a hike than a climb.  Once up on the flat area that separated the two tiers of the falls Adam walked the other two novices through a slightly technical move directly above the crashing waters.  One hand here.  One foot here.  And you're good.  Jeff goes, no problem.  Seth goes, no problem.  Adam lines up for the same move and the rock in his hand, the same rock the others held, collapsed.  Adam started to glide down the waters at an alarming rate.  There was a sickening gasp from the crowd.  He disapeared into the flat, middle part of the falls and it went silent.  Just then a bare foot came over the edge.  This was the end.  Our new friend was dead....but wait...he stopped.  One of us screamed for someone to get rope.  We knew we had it somewhere in our beerpacks.  While waiting for the rope we examined what had  happened.  As Adam was falling he realized parts of the fall were still frozen from winter.  Being the expert climber he was he saw a good handhold.  He had punched his fist into the ice and saved himself.  So we played the waiting game.  Someone finally arrived back at the falls...with a bit of twine.  Not the climbing rope we were hoping for.  We had to take action.  That ice wasn't going to hold for long.  So I climbed up to the exact spot of the incident, the broken rock, with Jeff's little brother Kelly.  We pulled a large branch from a tree.  Kelly stood in front extending the branch to Adam.  Once Adam had a hold of it I told Kelly to pull.  Adam was close to making it up, but not quite.  At that point I put my hands around Kelly's waist and said on the count of three I would fall flat backwards.  So here it was.  The moment of truth.  I jerked myself back and Kelly followed me.  We hit the ground hard, but it seemed we had pulled Adam close enough to extend a hand to him.  And that's what we did.  Pulled him right up.  Having a new friend almost die right in front of your eyes and preventing it from happening is one hell of a bonding experience.  We spent the rest of the night happily consuming the contents of the beerpacks and when midnight struck we turned our heads to the sky and howled at the sun.

Have you ever...

lost a finger at a funeral?

been charged by a bear?

helped rescue a friend falling from a waterfall?

been tossed from a moving car?

had your life threatend by a bum with a screwdriver?

drank a beer you brewed yourself?

gotten a tattoo first so your friend couldn't get it?

performed in front of a crowd of more than five hundred?

served a meal to a celebrity?

played a game of capture the flag in graveyard at night?

Google Docs Vs. Everything Else

Hello to all in my future blogosphere!  My name is Joshua, and it's quite nice to see you here following me through my progress as a new college student.  After nine years away from formal education I decided to start again with the basics, and a writing class seemed to be a logical extension of that idea.  I came fully prepared on my first day of class with a pad of paper and a number two pencil only to find out I'd spend most my time in front of a computer!  A few great discoveries have come out of this surprising experience very quickly, though.  All of these discoveries seem to bear the similar name of Google.  With Google Docs I can clean up the mess and clutter of traditional email.  Not only will Google Docs allow me to do away with messy attachments to friends and prospective employers, but it will practically save and organize the materials without my assistance.  The other big improvement on typical email services is the cloud system.  I now have a way to store documents that would be sitting somewhere on my desktop or in one of my folders all in one place as long as I have an internet connection.  Google Docs is my laptop away from my laptop, my home away from home.